Dearest Michael~
It has been a month since I've written. I almost gave this up because it was becoming overwhelming for me~this, your Caringbridge site, thank you's...oh, the list goes on, but I'm glad I kept it up, because I find that I need to get back to this. Back to you...I've missed you so much...so very much. Many times I think this is all a bad dream and soon you will be here with me...holding me close, making me laugh, getting our lives back to normal...I can't remember what it felt like to be held against your big strong chest...I've forgotten how it feels to really laugh, and "normal"...there is no normal in my life anymore...
In the past month I've started therapy with a grief counselor, we walked in a 5k for Multiple Myeloma, Thanksgiving came and went, I've cried buckets of tears, I've had some really good conversations with Joseph, and beginning to have those conversations with Matthew. I've gotten up every day and gone to work and some days are better than others...some days I miss you so much I can't think of anything else...other days I can think of you and smile and bask in the memories.
Forever love,
Karen
Heavenly Father,
in my present need,
help me to believe
that you are aware of my anxiety
and will do what is best for me.
Give me the strength to trust you
and put the present and future in your hands.
Grant this through Christ, our Lord. Amen
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